Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Good Riddance Mr. Muhammed



Tonight, Virginia is set to execute John Allen Muhammed, aka "The DC (or Beltway) Sniper." For those who don't remember, you clearly did not live in the DC area in the early 2000's. This piece of human excrement made me afraid to pump my own gas within 30 miles of DC during my senior year of high school. A brief recap:
During three weeks in October 2002, Muhammad and Malvo killed 10 people and wounded three, while taunting police with written messages and phoned-in threats and demands.

It could have been much worse. During Muhammad's second trial in Maryland, Malvo testified that Muhammad originally planned to kill up to six people each day for 30 days.
Muhammed admitted that he killed at random because he planned to kill his wife and didn't want to leave an obvious trail. Classy. But of course, it wasn't his fault. He was a victim of racism, of course!
He repeated his assertion that he was an innocent victim of racial bias in a letter to the federal court released last week by his attorneys. Muhammad charged that police and prosecutors "lied to the American people" about his case and withheld evidence that could clear him.
I will admit, I do get a certain sick thrill when I hear people who remember this guy say something along the lines of "You know, I'm against the death penalty, BUT I'm not going to shed a tear for this guy." It takes a special breed of person to unite people on opposing sides of such a polarizing issue. Governor Tim Kaine has already denied clemency, and so the execution appears to be going forward. If I had 1 wish, it would be that the execution were broadcast to the room of Mr. Nidal Hasan, of the recent Ft. Hood attacks.

Aloha Snackbar, Mr. Muhammed.

Friday, November 6, 2009

The Infamous Obama Unemployment Graph Part 6: Funemployment is Off the Charts!

I don't know about you folks, but I'm sure glad that we're out of this nasty old Bush recession, aren't you? And so what if another 192,000 Americans had to lose their jobs in the month of October in order to prove the point, driving unemployment (or "Funemployment!") to over 10%? That's a small price to pay for progress. Don't believe those numbers? Well then let's take a look:

That's right everybody, if you'll notice, we are officially off of President Obama's chart! According to him and his team, we were never supposed to come anywhere close to 10% unemployment even without a "stimulus" (and other spending), and yet here we find ourselves.

But hey, let's totally trust these guys with our health-care!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

President Obama Signs New Hate-Crime Bill, "Hate-Crimes" Magically Cease

Yes folks, good news from this past week: Our long, national nightmare is over. President Barack Hussein Obama (Mmm, Mmm, Mmm) signed the Matthew Shepard-James Byrd Jr. Hate-Crimes Prevention Act on Wednesday. The bill is named after 2 men, Matthew Shepard-a homosexual who was beaten to death because he was gay, according to his attackers; and James Byrd Jr.- the black man who was dragged to death by 3 men in Texas. Both murders occured back in 1998.
To loud applause, Obama hailed the hate crimes measure in the bill as a step toward change to "help protect our citizens from violence based on what they look like, who they love, how they pray."
Well how could anybody possibly be against that, you ungrateful peons? Why, up until now, people have not been protected from hate crimes. Just ask any cop, they'll tell you how they're told at orientation not to prevent hate crimes, only regular crimes. Hate crime victims recieve none of the protections that the rest of us get. Well, they used to anyway, before our President finally made a law protecting certain groups from violence. But don't get the wrong idea now, don't you white, Christian males then you'll get any protection from being targetted because of your how you look, who you love, and how you pray, you evil opressors you.

Of course, what nobody ever mentions is that of the 5 men involved in these 2 cases, all are either serving mulitiple life sentences or on death row. I'm not really sure how adding a hate-crime charge to the end would make things worse for them, but then again I don't fully understand the "feel good but do nothing" liberal mentality.

But, of course, who better to put forth the most straighforward reality of hate-crimes than Matt Stone and Trey Parker of South Park?

In the words of a radio personality I enjoy around here, Mike McConnell, "I don't remember ever hearing about somebody beating somebody else with a 2x4 out of love, it was always out of hate."

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Gas Prices Rise 34 Cents in Less Than 2 weeks? Awesome

First things first, I saw Zombieland today, and it was awesome. I highly encourage you all to see it. A-.

Now, on to buisness.



So for those of you who don't know, I deliver pizzas for Pizza Hut for a living. Well....part time anyway, I'm now a substitute teacher as well (hooray!), so now I'm only 20 hours a week instead of 40 at that job. Anyway, about a week and a half ago on Wednesday, I had to fill up my car after my shift. Gas that day was $2.45/gal. Thankfully I filled up that day, because the next day....let me repeat that, THE NEXT DAY.....gas prices jumped to $2.55/gal. By the end of the weekend, gas had hit $2.59, and by yesterday when I had to fill up again (hooray for a car that gets great gas mileage!) the price at teh pump was $2.79/gal.

I would like to take a moment to thank President Obama and the Democrat-controlled congress for this situation for 2 very important reasons:

1. Doing nothing to remedy the conditions that constantly cause oil to rise, including:
-Not drilling for domestic oil
-Not opening any new refineries
-Not allowing any new coal/natural gas/nuclear power plants, which would reduce their use of oil and gas freeing more up for the rest of us
-Their focus soley on their cap and tax scheme to drive us back into the medieval period as far as technology is concerned

2. Inflation thanks to their attempts to spend us into oblivion. Anybody can look up any of my "Infamous Obama Unemployment Graphs" posts (Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5) to see that the job saving "Stimulus" bill didn't do anything close to what we were promised it would do. Between that, TARP (Thanks President Bush, what a disaster that's turning out to be), Cash for Clunkers, and giveaways to pretty much every group that wants a handout (including most recently seniors on social security) it's only a matter of time until inflation starts to catch up to us. And with everybody in the world trying to weaken the dollar thanks to our runaway spending, it's already starting to show itself in the world market....like oil prices.

As I stated before, I've finally begun my teaching career an so am not working 40+ hours a week driving. Thankfully $4/gal gas won't kill me as much as it did last summer, but it won't exactly help unemployment and a depressed economy.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Wish Me Luck!



So I have my interview tomorrow morning at 7:30 AM (EST) for a teaching job. Wish me luck!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Ladies and Gentlemen, We Have a New Mission

As most of you are aware, I'm sure, President Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize today, only the 4th US President (and only the 3rd sitting)to do so. And just 9 months into office, he surely ranks among those great American Presidents Woodrow Wilson and James Carter. And even if he did have to be nominated less than 2 weeks into his Presidency to qualify, he so obviously deserves it. I mean he gave that speech about nuclear disarmament, and who can argue that his speech didn't change the world?

But now ladies and gentlemen, we have a new task. You see, the Nobel Peace Prize won't get most Americans talking or excited. By a month from now, most will even forget he took it. And so we must set our sights on a new task. An award that will let the world know how truly great President Obama is. It is time to nominate him for the coveted, and highly prized, Heisman Trophy. Yes folks, simply click on that link, fill in the President's name in the "Other" box, and if he gets enough votes he will officially recieve 1 Heisman vote when the decision is made. Can we do it? In the words of our Dear Leader himself, "Yes we can!"